Thelephobia=nipple phobia or the story of Big Bad Nipple.

Thele- (Greek) nipple, -phobia (Greek) fear. Masto- (Greek) breast, -phobia (Greek) fear.

Forget plastic women and their silicone breasts. Nipples are so much hotter. And so much more dangerous. You can be butt naked, your nipples nicely photoshopped out and all of a sudden you look decent.

But if you are a nursing mother with a tiny bit of flesh showing, particularly an areola or a nipple, and bam! – you are obsene, lewd and generally dangerous for our under 18-year-olds. Or so thinks Facebook. In other words, if your breasts are plastic and nipple-less, you are ok. If your breasts are soft, bouncy, slightly sagging and with nipples, they are, OMG, functional, but in the wrong way. They secrete milk. Unless we are into milk fetish or lactoporno, we don’t want to see your breasts. If your breasts are not for male consumption, we don’t want to look at them. We will not complain if your puppies are for display for us to fantasize about (we will ask for more), but we will complain if they are used in some other manner.

Censorship of breasts is evident when you compare book covers for Marilyn Yalom’s A History of the Breast. US edition has no breasts on the cover.

UK edition sports two versions of the cover, both with breasts in plain view
and

I wonder how US officials go about breast display in fine art museums.

Even poor mermaids did not escape stern censorship in the US. A mermaid with breasts AND nipples (and a belly button, for that matter)
magically transforms into a breastless and navel-less creature
. A far cry from the original. You can follow the full transformation here.

Female nipples are so scary, that special laws are adopted to prevent nipple display. In this case, Florida has a law that prohibits display of nipples. The result – nipple-less wrestlers.

To counteract this craziness, we need to adopt more laws that will now protect women who breastfeed in public. These laws specifically state that showing of nipple or areola during breastfeeding is NOT indecent exposure. So we can safely breastfeed our children no matter where we are or how much breast is displayed.

(c) Maxim Poluboyaronov

Big Bad Nipple reference

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One Response to “Thelephobia=nipple phobia or the story of Big Bad Nipple.”

  1. Quora Says:

    Are women’s breasts obscene?…

    Generally speaking, in the United States if breasts are used to sell products, services and ideas or they are used to please men in public, they are not obscene. They are more than welcome! If you are nursing your baby in public and your breasts are co…

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